“WELL, THE COMPUTER SAYS………

…THAT YOU CANCELLED YOUR APPOINTMENT”.  This was said by a “young thang” with her arms crossed in front of her and without a  smile. 

“But you called me yesterday to remind me of this appointment”, I said in exasperation.

“No, you cancelled it but I will see if we can somehow work you in” and she ran through a doorway to consult with someone.

I knew I wasn’t being stupid, I remembered that the very nice Physician in the Emergency Room a week beforehand set up an appointment with a Urologist to help me with my kidney stone.  I was doped up with pain medication but I know I heard him say it.  Not only that, the urologist’s office had called to confirm that appointment and I wasn’t on pain pills then.

She returned and said it would be alright and that the doctor needed me to have another x-ray, handed me some paper work and directed me across the street to the hospital.  Okay, maybe this would turn out after all.  Didn’t take very long and I was back with my x-ray and ready to see my new doctor.  He too, was very young but as he explained the white, oblong object showing in my kidney I began to relax and feel like my problem would soon be over.  He told me that the machine that “blasts” these little critters to smithereens was available on a rotating basis with several hospitals and that he would call me within two weeks with my appointment for the procedure.  I returned to my  car with a prescription for pain medication in my hand, feeling like all was under control.

I waited until the last of the 2 weeks he had promised and called his office to see if I had missed his call and was told that my new doctor was on vacation but he would call me as soon as he got back.  I waited another week without a call from him, so I called his office again and explained to his nurse that I had expected a call.  Sweetly, she said she didn’t have any record of me on her computer and did I have the right doctor?  And then the dreaded phrase, “MY COMPUTER SHOWS THAT YOU HAD AN APPOINTMENT BUT YOU CANCELLED IT”. 

“Please, please check this out and call me back”, I said.  “I know I was in, I know I had an x-ray ordered by the doctor, I know that I stood at the light box with him as he explained what we were looking at and I don’t want to get caught in such awful pain again”.

Another week went by, I called again and was told once again that THE COMPUTER SHOWED THAT I HAD CANCELLED MY APPOINTMENT, so they had no record of my appointment.  In my polite voice I explained, once again, that they had ordered an x-ray, I had taken this x-ray from the hospital back to them and that the doctor had read it, explaining to me what needed to be done.  I reiterated that I did not want to make another unexpected trip to the ER with that kind of pain again, ever!

As her fingers manipulated the keys of her computer and I waited, she finally said, “O yes, I do see that the hospital took an x-ray for you, let me check some more.  I’ll talk with the doctor and call you back”.  Ahhhh,  finally, something was going to be done and I could relax.

My friendly office person called me the next day to tell me that she had the x-ray, had spoken with her doctor and that she would call me back with the information she needed to give me for my procedure.  That day there were 5 phone calls between us with questions to answer, medications to discuss, time and date of my appointment and the explanation that “THE COMPUTER SHOWED THAT I HAD CANCELLED MY APPOINTMENT  and it had taken quite a bit of time to find me”.  My next appointment was in a week, the procedure date at the nearby hospital was made,  and once again I started to relax.

I received paper work, in the mail, confirming my time and date of surgery and holding this in my hand, I felt reassured that I had been “found” and that they were expecting me.  It was a feeling of such pleasure to know that somebody would know my name when I came through the door.  Not only that, they would know what to do to solve my problem and finally, I could remove the bottle of pain pills that I carried in my purse for one of those dreaded JUST IN CASE moments.

Another phone call came  from the hospital asking to set up an appointment to do a phone pre-op appointment.   I said okay, wondering about an appointment made for an appointment process.  This whole experience had been so confusing that I even wondered if the nurse would call on the scheduled appointment time.  She did and after 25 minutes of discussing my most secret ails and drug use, she said “thank you”.  Okay, my next appointment was for Tuesday and I had been told it was to do whatever tests I would need before surgery.   I got up that morning, dressed and joined the morning rush hour traffic with enough time to get to my appointment.

I walked into the office as one of their first appointments, that same little “twit” was at the desk but I wasn’t worried, I had an appointment.  That very appointment had been confirmed the day before and I was confident that all was going to go well.  I told her my name and the name of the doctor  with whom I had an appointment.  She smiled and turned to her computer to look at her appointment list for my name.  She looked and looked, asking my name and birth date several times and then she stood up from her computer, crossed her arms and said, “THE COMPUTER SHOWS THAT YOU CANCELLED YOUR APPOINTMENT”.  

 Well……in my most patient voice, the one that my daughters learned at a very early age to dread, I once again explained  that I had not cancelled………(blah, blah, blah)…yeah, even reminded her that she had called the day before to confirm my appointment and again explained that I was there for whatever tests the doctor needed to do before my procedure on Friday.  A nurse wearing scrubs was also nearby working on her computer.  She got up and came over to my “person” and showed her on her computer that beside my name were her initials showing that she had called to confirm my appointment the day before.  THEN the nurse looked at me and asked if I got my paperwork in the mail.  Fortunately, I had it with me and showed her what I had received from the hospital with the procedure date on it, the  diet I had to do for 2 days before the appointment, the laxatives I had to take the date before and I also explained that I had received a pre-op phone call from the hospital already. 

She raised her eyebrows a little and smiled saying, “Well, then we didn’t need to see you today after all.  We’ll do the lab tests before your procedure on Friday.”

The drive home was uneventful as all the commuters were already at their respective jobs, and the school buses had delivered the students.  I joined the traffic of delivery trucks and senior citizens now using the HOV lanes, stewing with anger.  How dare they treat me that way.  I had been an office manager for 25 years and would never have dared to look into somebody’s face and tell them the things I had been told.  Did I dare continue trying to work with this doctor and his staff?  Was I putting myself in danger?  

When I reached home and explained my frustration to Dick, he kindly suggested that IF, if this doctor was going to do my surgery, it might be a good idea to hold off the “explosion” he saw on my face until it was done.  Not a good idea to get my doctor angry and then blissfully lay on his surgical table in my “twilight zone” while he proceeds with a rather delicate surgery.  Yep, I did agree with that philosophy.  It was either cancel my hospital appointment and find another doctor to work with or continue being a ’patient’, patient and get this done.  I knew that if the first words I heard upon arriving at the hospital on the day of my appointment were “THE COMPUTER SHOWS THAT YOU CANCELLED YOUR APPOINTMENT”, well, I was out of there!  I’ve still got a big bottle of pain pills in my purse and I know there are other doctors out there who know how to do this procedure.  On the other hand, maybe I could get my surgery, my lab tests and my doctors fee all for free.  After all, they have no record of me anywhere that I can tell.  I could just explain that “MY COMPUTER SHOWS THAT I CANCELLED MY APPOINTMENT.”   Maybe this is the new health care program that Mr. Obama has been trying to explain. 

 I did get the procedure done with just a couple of more “dings”.  A hospital in Tacoma called me to schedule a pre-op appointment and when I explained that I was already scheduled at a closer hospital, she just said, “Well, I wondered why you would be coming to us.”  Oh, and then there was the girl checking me in to the hospital who said, ”You’re having the surgery done TODAY”?

I don’t know, Mr. Obama, is this really what you meant?

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Tags: doctors, ER, Mr. Obama