“NOOOooo, when did I become this woman”? I opened the door and it was like a tidal wave rushing before me……..

She was a very pretty girl and you could tell that she was really excited about what she wanted to tell me.  I’m a kind woman, I think, a polite woman even.  Before the door was even opened she was waving at me through the glass as I walked towards her.  I smiled, she could have been a highschool girl raising money for some class function, but “NO”!!!  She wanted to clean my carpet for FREE.  I’ve lived long enough to recognise what FREE means.  It means a long presentation and a hard good-bye.   I’ve got everything I need and I certainly know where to go to find something I do need.

But she was so excited to provide me with something FREE that the words just tumbled out.  I told her that we received these offers from this company on a monthly basis, that they must be using our neighborhood for a training ground or something.  “Oh, no,”  she said,” I have never been here before and besides it’s free”.  No matter the pretty face, bright eyes and smile, and infectious spirit, I interrupted and politely said “No, thank you” but she just kept talking and pushing on my door.  Oh, I admired her for the effort it took to go door to door to earn her living, and I was glad my husband had not answered the door but sweetie, I am saying “NO THANK YOU” right in your face and you haven’t even heard me. 

Oh-oh, I could feel it building in my chest, my mouth was still smiling and saying no but that train had left the station and all at once I put up my hand and  shouted  “NO THANK YOU” right in her face.   I felt awful.  I should never have allowed her to make me do that.  I’m not that kind of person.  After all, what else did I have to do.  Well, there were those favorite shows on TV that we were watching before the interruption, but to be rude to someone over a TV show  was unforgivable and certainly not the lady I thought I was.

Her startled eyes looked at the hand I had placed between us and then into my eyes.  Brightly she said “Are you sure”?  My reply stayed the same but I just couldn’t find a smile to put on my face even though I knew it would redeem me just a bit.  She turned to walk away and I noticed the van parked in front of the house with two young men looking towards me hoping that the answer to her question was Yes.  What were they thinking!  You don’t just invite somebody into your house like that!  Besides, I felt so awful treating her like that.  I went back to my couch, noticed my husbands startled eyes, and caught up on what was happening on TV. 

THEN the phone rang.  The TV Pause button is pressed and I answer the phone.  Now, I’ve spent many years answering phones both professionally and personally and there is a certain decorum  that goes with that activity.  There were times in my personal life that I would forget where I was and answer the phone as if I was working instead of home.  When I did, I would laugh and apologize all over the place.  It didn’t happen often.  

I admitted that “Yes, I was Sharon Smith”, “Yes, I had ordered a gift over the internet from their site”.   I was told that my order was being shipped that day and that they wanted to include me on a program that gave me $100.00 worth of free fuel as well as a subscription to a service that gave me a yearly book of discount coupons to use.   OH, MAN, I had heard about things like this before, had even fallen for it ONCE!  If I accepted this gift it would be mine to use in my area AND, and I learned this the one time I accepted, my credit card would be charged a yearly renewal so that I could get discount coupon books for years to come.  No!  No!  No!  I said in my head.  I know myself, I’m not as attentive to things like this as I used to be.  They sign you up and YOU have to cancel.  Each year, when you get a new coupon book, you will look at the thing and wonder why you got that and then you will see the charge on your credit card statement.

This young man was going on and on about how much they appreciated my order and hoped my free gift would benefit my life.  On and on, verifying my address to be sure my order got to me properly.  I was very aware that there were  some questions he could possibly ask me that would quickly end this conversation, but I was trying to be the “polite me”.  

 Some would say “Wow, free gas, discount coupons?  Whats the matter with you lady”?  But, I’m a little forgetful and in my experience, we have seldom used more than 1 or 2 of those kinds of discount coupons, usually in restaurants.  Sure I could give them to somebody else but what if I forgot to cancel on my credit card, I could be giving free discount coupons for years.  I’d have to put it in my Will so that the gift I received would just keep on giving.  

My husbands eyes were once again turned toward me with a questioning look on his face.  Then he got up and came over and sat next to me so he could hear both sides of the conversation.  Now I knew that he was wondering just what was going on and it was time for me to take the upper hand.

“Young man”, I said firmly.  The voice expressing thanks just kept talking so I said “Young Man” more loudly.  Hmm, no response , just that tidal wave of words coming at me.  Finally, I shouted, “Excuse me, Young Man.  I’m not interested in your free gift.”  He stopped, took a breath like he was going to restart the words and before he could, I repeated myself.  He sounded flustered and sputtered a bit so I said it again.  Then his quiet voice said “Okay, I’ll take that as a no.  Thank you for your order, it is on its way.”

I put the phone down wondering why I had allowed that to happen to me twice in the same evening.  I knew better than that but it was so frustrating.  I remember a time 30 years ago when we took a ‘Communications’ class with our family and the philosophy being taught, was that in being heard by others, you had to step out of your own personality and speak to this person in the same tone they are speaking to you.    I remember thinking during that class that surely this concept doesn’t apply to all instances I might encounter.  Little did I know that all those years ago I was being taught the phone and door etiquette of the 21st Century.   I could be pushed over the edge and become the woman I was now seeing, losing all those years that I was the “Other” woman and adapting to the “Now”.  I honestly don’t believe in that particular philosophy taught so many years ago.  As a family, it was not one that we adopted when conversing with each other but I have traveled enough to know that there are instances when this manner might be important to remember and used carefully.  What I really resented was that I had allowed it to come into my home.    

Advertisement